His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
