the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
