Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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