So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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