She's JV to your varsity
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize