I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize