I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Bring me that man meat
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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