anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
