Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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