i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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