Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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