Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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