Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
