Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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