I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
