I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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