ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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