mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
