Operation Purity has been aborted
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
