and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
