You're my little dorito
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
