things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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