She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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