READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
