i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
