He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
