i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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