just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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