I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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