nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
