Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
