my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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