What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
