I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
