Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
