she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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