Yo dont text me then not text me
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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