She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
