My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
