But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
