your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
