I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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