i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
