Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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