So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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