When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
