I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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