the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize