I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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