I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I can't turn off my feet"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
