I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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