We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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