i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
