So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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