I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
