i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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