Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
