she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
