So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
