I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
