Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize