i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
