I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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