We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize