its not stalking. its research.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
