She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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