Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I have aggressive nipples.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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