Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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