absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just high enough for therapy.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
