Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
