She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
