Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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