Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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