On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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