nutella sex= disaster
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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