im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
