Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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