from now on my penis is your penis
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
