Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
