I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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